Of all the things I regret in life, and all of the things I DON'T, I think there's one that stands out the most in my mind.
And that's the diminishing of my friendship with my dearest friend in this world, Akram. I cannot say enough about the joy-- and the tears-- that we've shared together over the years. There was a time or two that I even hoped we'd end up as husband and wife. I know I could've and would've been very happy to be in that role. But I could not have ever agreed to the one thing he wanted to keep open, which is why that door closed for us permanently. It's why I'm now happily married to another man, and why the things I had hoped for remain that-- unfulfilled dreams.
I regret not paying the friendship the attention that I had over the years; I regret not keeping in close of contact with my friend as we had in the pre-revolution days. We had our disagreements there, and probably always will. My mind has changed a lot over the course of events of the past few years, and I believe his probably has too, in many ways.
Akram's birthday was four days ago; he turned 33 years old. Sadly, this is the first year where I didn't shoot off an e-mail, or do SOMETHING to show him that I appreciate him as a man, as a son, as a brother, as a person. As a gifted photographer, who insists he could never pursue it as a career (but could... when I mean Akram is so much like Ansel Adams, in not only black and white, but color, I MEAN IT) because it'd suck all the fun out of it, as someone gifted in the IT field.
I think I probably have more faith in Akram than he himself does, sometimes. My friend is an amazing man, who rarely realizes it. He is someone who has comforted me more often than I deserve. He is someone who is kind, compassionate, and gentle, without losing any of his masculinity.
Akram, is, quite simply, the best friend I will ever have in this world. And if he reads this, Akram, I miss your friendship. I miss you. And I love you for all the things that you are, all your struggles and triumphs, and everything that even you don't love about yourself. And never think that time or distance or anything else will ever keep us apart-- we will not. For no matter what, the one Almighty God whom we both worship, continues to watch over us both. And as long as we remain faithful to Him, we will always be friends. From the Michael W. Smith song, the duet with Amy Grant at the 2003 Dove Awards is one of my favorites.
And that's the diminishing of my friendship with my dearest friend in this world, Akram. I cannot say enough about the joy-- and the tears-- that we've shared together over the years. There was a time or two that I even hoped we'd end up as husband and wife. I know I could've and would've been very happy to be in that role. But I could not have ever agreed to the one thing he wanted to keep open, which is why that door closed for us permanently. It's why I'm now happily married to another man, and why the things I had hoped for remain that-- unfulfilled dreams.
I regret not paying the friendship the attention that I had over the years; I regret not keeping in close of contact with my friend as we had in the pre-revolution days. We had our disagreements there, and probably always will. My mind has changed a lot over the course of events of the past few years, and I believe his probably has too, in many ways.
Akram's birthday was four days ago; he turned 33 years old. Sadly, this is the first year where I didn't shoot off an e-mail, or do SOMETHING to show him that I appreciate him as a man, as a son, as a brother, as a person. As a gifted photographer, who insists he could never pursue it as a career (but could... when I mean Akram is so much like Ansel Adams, in not only black and white, but color, I MEAN IT) because it'd suck all the fun out of it, as someone gifted in the IT field.
I think I probably have more faith in Akram than he himself does, sometimes. My friend is an amazing man, who rarely realizes it. He is someone who has comforted me more often than I deserve. He is someone who is kind, compassionate, and gentle, without losing any of his masculinity.
Akram, is, quite simply, the best friend I will ever have in this world. And if he reads this, Akram, I miss your friendship. I miss you. And I love you for all the things that you are, all your struggles and triumphs, and everything that even you don't love about yourself. And never think that time or distance or anything else will ever keep us apart-- we will not. For no matter what, the one Almighty God whom we both worship, continues to watch over us both. And as long as we remain faithful to Him, we will always be friends. From the Michael W. Smith song, the duet with Amy Grant at the 2003 Dove Awards is one of my favorites.
"And friends are friends forever
If the Lord's the Lord of them
And a friend will not say never
'Cause the welcome will not end
Though it's hard to let you go
In the Father's hands we know
That a lifetime's not too long to live as friends."
Amen, Akram. Amen to that.
And another... because, Akram, our friendship will always mean the world to me.
Please, Akram, drop me a few lines. Whether it's as a comment on this post, to my e-mail (it hasn't changed, or to my Facebook page -- it's under Tonyand Melinda Hajji), whatever works for you. I think somewhere I have your phone number too. And there's always Skype :)
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