This is yet another divorce, abuse, and domestic violence post. This is cathartic for me, and I need to let it out. Thankfully, my Dad, whose emotional range and sensitivity is sometimes that of a teaspoon, except when it comes to his youngest daughter (and even then... he treats me like I'm one of his brothers with the remarks he makes about my weight, which usually brings on a mutual verbal slug fest in Dutch), is very understanding (he didn't want his own divorce in 1972), and my Mom, with whom I have sometimes had a strained relationship, realized she had to let me go, to make my own path. She knew I had to come to this fork in my road BY MYSELF, without her and my father's input.
Yes, my Dad is steaming mad at my soon to be ex husband, who has been declared persona non grata by me. He is blocked from my phone with both of his known phone numbers, and I will only answer trusted calls from the Austin, TX area (namely, these ones-- https://www.traviscountytx.gov/constables/3/contact-us).
I didn't want this end. I didn't ever think I'd find myself down THIS path, but then, I always declared that if I married, I would ONLY file for divorce in two cases: abuse and adultery. Unfortunately, I fell in love with the wrong kind of man, and he not only abused me in every way a man can abuse his spouse (emotional, physical, sexual, financial, etc.), he also REPEATEDLY and continually cheated on me. I DID NOT physically cheat on him until the beginning of the end. Call it ten or more (confirmed) to one.
If you're Ms. Salma Yousef, you're a cunt who thinks I DESERVE to be abused, because I "was mean" to someone you follow on Twitter. Well, Ms. Salma Yousef, I tracked the IP, finally via a talented friend of mine who makes a certain someone whose family you married into look reallllllllllly stupid. It's called "six degrees of separation", and we have less than three. So fuck yourself.
Walk a mile in my shoes. I GUARANTEE it will make you want to cry and flee long before I did.
Be abused by a boyfriend, almost a decade before your marriage. For barely BURNING THE EGGS for his lunch because you needed a walk to clear your head of the curry fumes from next door (I love a good curry; I hate the pervasive smell, especially when they're burning said curry and setting off OUR smoke detectors!) and the levy/sewer smell coming from the open window. I TOTALLY deserved to be locked in a hot, stuffy, dark closet, for FIVE HOURS, with no food or water, on a 75 degree day. I also deserved to be kicked for asking about his family, for touching his Koran, etc.
Salma-- If you think that I deserved to be abused as a child, for getting a poor grade in physical education because I wasn't gifted athletically (except in soccer, which I excelled at and still do well at), and also, emotionally abused, by a parent, then you should have that happen to your children by your spouse. Pretty sure you're in the same shoes I am, or have been, or you wouldn't be such a self-righteous, nasty human being. There have been TWO nasty comments in the 20 or so years this blog has been around. YOU were one of them. Nice elite club to be in: rude, misguided comment, when you didn't have any of the story or facts RIGHT.
DO NOT VICTIM BLAME, YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS BITCH. It could happen to you as it did to me... I didn't think I was a victim. I blamed myself. This went on for far too long.
I didn't think it would happen to me. I'm a fucking feminist, yo, before I knew what that meant. I also am a realist, realizing men and women are uniquely gifted in their own strengths. Can a man birth a baby? No. Can a woman impregnate anyone (no, unless she's a fertility doctor, LOL).
We are both women, Salma. I forgive you for your rudeness towards me. Will I forget it? NOPE, the Lord's Prayer says nothing of that.
It could happen to you, and if it does or HAS, PLEASE reach out to me or to someone else that you trust in your life (I suggest mandatory reporters-- medical staff, teachers at a child's school, police, etc.). I do NOT want a repeat of the Aasiya Zubair story, even to someone who I consider an enemy that I wouldn't waste spit on if they were on fire. I wouldn't wish domestic violence of any type on even the worst person I know. IT IS A CRIME. IT IS MORALLY, CRIMINALLY, AND ETHICALLY WRONG. No matter what religion one practices, it is a sin against GOD.
But I learned, I prayed, I got closer to God during Lent. I prayed I would find the end to the pain that my marriage has brought me this past half decade.
My prayers were answered; I have the strength to do what I know I'd needed to do for awhile. I AM ALIVE, as surely as Jesus rose from the dead.
FYI, Salma, whoever you are, you're not blocked anymore. Leave a comment. Heft de "klootzak" to reach out to me via e-mail, listed on my profile. I'll listen to your story.
How can YOU blame ME? For doing something to someone who has repeatedly done worse to me for less or nothing at all? NO. That's what my abuser did. And if I could take it all back, I would. I would file for an annulment the day after, for that's when the abuse started. I would have never gone to Southern California, I would never have married him on April 20, 2013, and I would be with the one I'm supposed to be with, five years sooner.
Yes, my Dad is steaming mad at my soon to be ex husband, who has been declared persona non grata by me. He is blocked from my phone with both of his known phone numbers, and I will only answer trusted calls from the Austin, TX area (namely, these ones-- https://www.traviscountytx.gov/constables/3/contact-us).
I didn't want this end. I didn't ever think I'd find myself down THIS path, but then, I always declared that if I married, I would ONLY file for divorce in two cases: abuse and adultery. Unfortunately, I fell in love with the wrong kind of man, and he not only abused me in every way a man can abuse his spouse (emotional, physical, sexual, financial, etc.), he also REPEATEDLY and continually cheated on me. I DID NOT physically cheat on him until the beginning of the end. Call it ten or more (confirmed) to one.
If you're Ms. Salma Yousef, you're a cunt who thinks I DESERVE to be abused, because I "was mean" to someone you follow on Twitter. Well, Ms. Salma Yousef, I tracked the IP, finally via a talented friend of mine who makes a certain someone whose family you married into look reallllllllllly stupid. It's called "six degrees of separation", and we have less than three. So fuck yourself.
Walk a mile in my shoes. I GUARANTEE it will make you want to cry and flee long before I did.
Be abused by a boyfriend, almost a decade before your marriage. For barely BURNING THE EGGS for his lunch because you needed a walk to clear your head of the curry fumes from next door (I love a good curry; I hate the pervasive smell, especially when they're burning said curry and setting off OUR smoke detectors!) and the levy/sewer smell coming from the open window. I TOTALLY deserved to be locked in a hot, stuffy, dark closet, for FIVE HOURS, with no food or water, on a 75 degree day. I also deserved to be kicked for asking about his family, for touching his Koran, etc.
Salma-- If you think that I deserved to be abused as a child, for getting a poor grade in physical education because I wasn't gifted athletically (except in soccer, which I excelled at and still do well at), and also, emotionally abused, by a parent, then you should have that happen to your children by your spouse. Pretty sure you're in the same shoes I am, or have been, or you wouldn't be such a self-righteous, nasty human being. There have been TWO nasty comments in the 20 or so years this blog has been around. YOU were one of them. Nice elite club to be in: rude, misguided comment, when you didn't have any of the story or facts RIGHT.
DO NOT VICTIM BLAME, YOU SELF RIGHTEOUS BITCH. It could happen to you as it did to me... I didn't think I was a victim. I blamed myself. This went on for far too long.
I didn't think it would happen to me. I'm a fucking feminist, yo, before I knew what that meant. I also am a realist, realizing men and women are uniquely gifted in their own strengths. Can a man birth a baby? No. Can a woman impregnate anyone (no, unless she's a fertility doctor, LOL).
We are both women, Salma. I forgive you for your rudeness towards me. Will I forget it? NOPE, the Lord's Prayer says nothing of that.
It could happen to you, and if it does or HAS, PLEASE reach out to me or to someone else that you trust in your life (I suggest mandatory reporters-- medical staff, teachers at a child's school, police, etc.). I do NOT want a repeat of the Aasiya Zubair story, even to someone who I consider an enemy that I wouldn't waste spit on if they were on fire. I wouldn't wish domestic violence of any type on even the worst person I know. IT IS A CRIME. IT IS MORALLY, CRIMINALLY, AND ETHICALLY WRONG. No matter what religion one practices, it is a sin against GOD.
But I learned, I prayed, I got closer to God during Lent. I prayed I would find the end to the pain that my marriage has brought me this past half decade.
My prayers were answered; I have the strength to do what I know I'd needed to do for awhile. I AM ALIVE, as surely as Jesus rose from the dead.
FYI, Salma, whoever you are, you're not blocked anymore. Leave a comment. Heft de "klootzak" to reach out to me via e-mail, listed on my profile. I'll listen to your story.
How can YOU blame ME? For doing something to someone who has repeatedly done worse to me for less or nothing at all? NO. That's what my abuser did. And if I could take it all back, I would. I would file for an annulment the day after, for that's when the abuse started. I would have never gone to Southern California, I would never have married him on April 20, 2013, and I would be with the one I'm supposed to be with, five years sooner.
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